Holding Back

“I’ve had practice,” I told her.

Another day passes by and

It makes me wonder

Should I continue as I’ve been?

I did it once.

Heck, I think I’ve done it twice.

And still I haven’t really talked about it.

I haven’t thought about it this much until now.

This time, right now is when I begin to question

Whether or not I should stop what I’m doing

Because I’m doing it to myself

And to the other person

It takes energy and hard work

Both of those I have,

But wouldn’t they be better used

If I just didn’t hold back

I’m holding myself back

I don’t get what I want to have

Maybe I’m just being stubborn,

Or maybe I just want to feel sorry for myself

In the end holding back isn’t the answer

It’s no answer at all

I’ll never know what could have been

Which is sad, to say the least

So do I decide to let myself go this time?

Or do I wait until the next time I decide?

Because if I don’t take that step now,

There will be a next time I hold back